August 9, 2016 at 2:50 am #8062
am having trouble writing this post but I will do my best. My brain fog has completely destroyed me. I was involved in a car accident back in October and broke my 1 and 2 vertabrae in my neck. During this time I had a lot of stress at home in which I ran to my now ex who was extremely controlling and abusive. I started getting social anxiety around march. (I was outgoing and in love with life before this but was doing recreational drugs) my ex cheated on me during this and then left me. I am now back home with my parents and cannot go on any longer. I can’t remember things to talk about, I lose what I’m saying almost immediately after I say it, constantly talk in circles about my problem, and feel overall stupid. I don’t go out anymore because I feel dumb. I am not at all this person and I can’t even exactly describe what I’m going thru I’m just very unclear. I’ve been on vyvanse on and off since 8th grade and that seemed to help my focus but now its not doing anything but helping me get out of bed. I took ability and lexapro before my accident when I experienced social anxiety for the first time before my accident. It seemed to work for awhile. I lost my doctor since then and started self medicating myself back in march when I started to not feel normal again. They didn’t work they just made me so clouded that I with drawled from everything because I felt disabled in my own head. I don’t know what’s wrong with me and my doctors advice (I can’t get in with a phycotrist for another month) is to check myself into a thirty day program. I do not want to do this at all. Also weed used to calm me down and I always enjoyed it now I am all weird and paranoid when I do it which really bothers me and makes me think something severe is wrong. I know I’m rambling I don’t know how to make things flow. I need a miracle I just want to live again
August 15, 2016 at 6:20 am #8063
Hello bzlynn ,
Its not surprising your head is cloudy and you cant think straight as it seems you have had a lot to deal with the past 9 months.
Obviously the car accident has affected you emotionally as well as physically ,did you ever have an trauma counselling for that ?
And your ex …well ,its going to be easy for him to get back in your head because you are so vunerable at the moment and he can take advantage of that .Can you parents help you keep him away for you by not letting him near the house or phone up or anything ?
I know its not nice having to rely on your parents for things again but sometimes they are the only people that can and will help you rather than having to rely on friends etc.Its not a sign of weakness asking for help so be honest with them and be honest with yourself .We all go through times when we need to reach out .
Remember your not super human ,you are just a human with normal emotions and this is just a situation that can be helped.
August 15, 2016 at 7:17 pm #8066
My ex moved away and told me he wants nothing to do with me. I cant helo but to blame myself because i started to be disconnected from peiple in our relationship and started completely to be not myself in which pushed him away. Ive lost my personality and everything that made anyobe like me. Im just there completely blank of any ideas or connections. I dont know how to explain it anymore. My home life is not good and it made me run to my ex in the first pkace. Now im so detached from myself i have no friends other than my parents. No one even trusts me with anything anymore because of my emotional state. I did this all to myself. I literally feel like im drowning and cant pull myself out. I dont even know what to tell doctors is wrong w me. I just wasnt this oerson a few months ago. I find everythinf hard to do even getting ready and feel no need for doing anything because im not getting anywhere from it i cant even retain information im exposed to during the day. Sorry this pribly makes no sense and im just going in circles now
August 20, 2016 at 3:21 pm #8067
Friends and others can wait ,dont put yourself under pressure to make friends at the moment concentrate on yourself.
Once you are in a better place than you can think about friends and keeping relationships going with them .Having friends is hard work sometimes.
Try and write down how you feel ,even if it is just one word or random words on a piece of paper.You will be surprised how much sense that can make to others such as doctors or counsellors .You havent got to explain yourself in detail on the page but it builds up a picture of how your mind is functioning at the moment.
It is easy for us to blame ourselves for everything but every relationship is 50/50 so dont take it all on yourself.
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